Over the many years I have practiced before the judges of Minnesota, I have found them to be hard-working, honest, and fair for the most part.  But there are some funny stories about what judges do behind closed doors and behind the courtrooms.

1.  One day I came into a judge’s chambers while his clerk rushed out.  He told me that he had to pick-up the judge’s shirts before the laundry closed.  As I got inside the chambers, I found the judge sitting in his chair.  The other law clerk circled the judge as she clipped away at his hair.  At least he wore his black robe to keep the gray hair off of his clothing.

2.  One hard working judge was notorious for the long hours he kept.  And he expected his staff to do the same.  When his law clerk started into labor to give birth to her second child, the judge called her on her cell phone.  He had a question about a pending case they had been working on.  She wouldn’t take the call!

3.  Another judge worked equally hard.  He’d been discussing a sticky legal issue with his law clerk.  The talk went on for over two hours.  When the clerk protested that she had to go to the bathroom, the judge delayed her for another half hour.  She finally jumped up and insisted it had now become an emergency.  She hurried out of the chambers.  The judge followed and kept talking.  It was only when she got into the bathroom and forced the door shut—that the judge stopped talking about the case.

4.  An older judge was known for his frugality.  When smoked was still allowed in the courthouse, the judge smoked several cigars through-out the day.  That was bad enough, but since he was so frugal he smoked the cheapest cigars.  And he always smoked them down to less than a half inch in length.  Many of the dead ones were always spread out in ashtrays.  He refused to let the cleaning people through them out because the judge may get a few more puffs out of each one.  I dreaded working with him in the afternoon because clouds of stinky smoke always gave me a headache.

5.  Two judge had an affair.  It became well-known around the courthouse.  I remember trying to talk with one of them, and the male judge came into the chambers.  The female judge kicked all of us out and shut the door.  We could hear giggles coming from inside the room.  They got toghether about three times a week for their fun. One day, when the female judge was assigned to a surburban courtroom, she took a break in the proceedings.  As she sat in the second floor chambers with a few of us lawyers, we could hear the sound of stones hitting the window behind her.  We looked out and saw the male judge on the ground, tossing stones up at the window to get her attention.  When he saw us looking at him, he blushed, waved, and had the strangest smile on his face!

6.  Here’s one judge’s behavoir that was so bad, the case was thrown out.